Yellow Bird

Month: July, 2013

Times Are Too Good

“I’ve been wondering today what God is doing. I am fairly upset as the day has progressed that I don’t have enough to complain about … I have a big concern though, if God keeps passing on these blessings in my life, what difficulties am I going to be able to blog about?”
My brilliant, old father fed me these lines as the theme of my next post, so I’m going with it…

It does seem that most things in my life are adding up quite nicely. I feel blessed to say that I have had dark times, darker than dark, and now I am able to praise God for how he has provided. Less than two years ago, I strongly believed my life would mean nothing in the end, that it would end without ever beginning. Now I face the reality that God is good, while I failed to see that before. I have been redeemed. The power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead lives inside me.

I suppose that is all I can say. God is good. Nothing else compares.
The end.

Advertisements

Words

Sometimes I feel unsure about 90% of what goes on in my life. It’s a grand feeling. It is only when I let go of my pride, selfishness, and anxiety so I can trust God’s provision that I experience that 10% of assurance.
In Gulu, Uganda, we walked to a rock quarry not too far from the village we were working in to see the people there. First of all, I’m pretty sure one African woman is stronger than forty three American women. All day long, they sit on the ground (some have babies strapped to their backs) hammering rocks into smaller rocks. The men deal with the bigger rocks initially and then pass them down the line until what was once a slab of mountain becomes gravel. It was in this place that I was given about 17 seconds notice that I was going to present Jesus to these people. I almost started babbling my own silly words, but thankfully, by the power of the Holy Spirit I’m sure, I realized that this is war. What warrior goes to battle without a weapon? I borrowed the sword of the Spirit from one of my teammates and began to speak. It wasn’t really me who spoke though. All I know is that I shared that Jesus is the bread of life as it says in John 6. It was a surreal experience where I knew it was not up to me to get through to these people, but the Holy Spirit merely used my mouth to say what God ordained. This was a time that I was able to let go and let God be who He is. At this moment, I was sure of His every promise. That was probably one of the coolest parts of the trip, and of my life, really. I would love to live every minute of of my life waiting for the Holy Spirit to speak through me instead of saying my own, sometimes snide and sarcastic, words. Too often I speak without giving thought to what the effect of my words will be on other people.

I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you

There are no words adequate enough to describe what I’ve experienced the past couple weeks. It would be easy to explain the differences in culture, the people I met, the kids we played with, the squatty potties….but all of that is nothing compared to how powerful and loving God is and what he has done and continues to do for the people of Uganda.
Love God, love your neighbor, go into all the nations to make disciples and baptize them in the name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit..those are three things we are accountable for. This became real to me, it is legitimately all that matters in this life.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love children. The Ugandan children were beautiful, and so unloved. There was a church service in Jinja on an island on Lake Victoria (which feeds the Nile River) where there were mostly children, a few women, and one man (the pastor). I sat on a bench with children clinging to me, laying their heads in my lap, holding my hand…at the end of the service the pastor called the orphans up to the front so we could pray over them. I lost it when half the kids I had been sitting with came and stood next to me. Why have these precious ones been abandoned? According to Amy Washington, who started Kupendwa Ministries, “orphans” in Uganda are not actually orphans. This usually means they have been abandoned by one parent (usually the father) or both and they are staying with relatives. My heart physically aches for them. I know Amy feels the same.

Allow me to talk about her for a minute. She is the most amazing late-20s individual I have ever met. She has adopted one Ugandan child and fosters at least six more. At least one of these is HIV positive. Oh yeah, and she’s single. She has more passion for people than I’ve seen in a long time, even people she just met. When there is a need, she meets it. For example, she heard of this paralyzed man, Alex, who needed his hut to be repaired and she sent us there to do it. When we got there he asked for a mattress (because he had been sleeping on the mud floor with a single dirty blanket for years) and posho (which is the cheapest, blandest food in Uganda), they were delivered to him that day. Some of the guys on our team even carried him to his new bed. Amy cried and prayed over this man and poured herself out, pleading for his life and for his soul. That’s the kind of passion I want for other people. I’ve barely begun speaking of Amy, though. She started an organization called Kupendwa Ministries, which takes in abandoned teenage mothers. She is “Mommy Amy” to about thirty people I think, maybe more. The girls at Kupendwa learn about Jesus’ love every single day and they are taught skills so that they have a chance of making a life of their own with their child one day. Additionally, they homeschool at the Kupendwa Maternity Home, so they could even have a chance to go to college. They also have the opportunity to go to counseling every week to work through and pray for their past issues that still affect them today. They are beautiful women who I could tell God is teaching. Amy has given a lot of responsibility of the ministry to house manager, Ruth, and social worker, Winnie, which is so cool because now it is the Ugandans leading other Ugandans instead of Americans coming in and showing people how to be American and how to be a christian. Winnie and Ruth can communicate more openly and easily and they know more about Ugandan culture and how everything works than any American would.
Another thing…because of a conversation I had with Amy, I have decided to go back to school for sure. I was kind of on the border before, but now I see the importance. I’m thinking I may do nutrition and also become a certified midwife.
I have more than plenty to say, but I’ll leave it for another time.

Love Love Love

So I think it’s best we both forget before we dwell on it

Employment is evading me. Helplessness overwhelms me. I

Employment is evading me. Helplessness overwhelms me. I am ready to go to Uganda because I know I will have purpose there. I want to see my purpose in every moment in life, but it isn’t always easy. I mean, I know my overarching purpose, but the smaller moments are what make up the entire thing. I do not feel free and I’m not sure what to do with that feeling. It makes me want to run away, but I know that is unwise and irresponsible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VC58tGG_t4    –    This is what I’m listening to as I write and it’s lovely. My dry eyes want to cry. Nothing is black and white, or so I’ve heard.

 

It’s Easy

Sometimes it doesn’t feel easy.